Yes, God-help-us, we both went to see Barbie's latest incarnation. Why, Why, and Why.
For starters, we wanted to see someone cuter than us. Much, much cuter. And for all the criticism lobbed at the original (and the movie), and succeeding Barbies, it turns out a real person can look just like Barbie, figure dimensions and all. See below. AND this one can cry on demand, in a nano-second, and that's real too.
This picture, by the way, is part of one of the funniest scenes, "2001: A Space Odyessy" score and all, that sets up the Coming of Barbie.
Here's what we found to be true in or about this movie:
You don't have to have played with, or even liked, Barbie to find this movie funny. It's not entirely a comedy however, to put it mildly.
Surprisingly, feminists will enjoy this movie more than those who what, uh, are on the other side.
Men, as portrayed as part of the patriarchy, are unworthy, at best. Being kind here. Men, as portrayed in corporations, are idiots. Including Ken. But we knew that.
Mattel, who produced the film, has a real sense of humor. Note: Mattel's real exec mgmt team has three women out of ten on it. Mattel's Board of Directors has five women out of 11 directors. This only matters if you see the movie.
Even though it's a PG-13 movie and there are many disclaimers about not being for kids, young girls still seem to enjoy it. And they are definitely there. Often in party dress. The more adult parts just go over their heads (with any luck).
The sets alone are worth the ticket price.
Barbie-abuse was a real thing. Just ask Weird Barbie, who is hysterical.
Pregnant Midge, who was married with a family was one of many Barbie fails. She had a pump-up stomach. Her husband, Bob, was also eliminated. They're both in movie along with Tanner, the dog who poops, and Magic Earring Ken, and several other fails. Very entertaining for die-hard Barbie fans.
Spoiler: The film ends when Barbie (Margot Robbie) magically adopts a new life as a human named Barbara Handler, referring to Barbie inventor Ruth Handler's real-life daughter.
The best place to see this movie is #UnionStation because then you can go to #Pierponts and have their Malibu Dream Martini which has rum, Grey Goose le citron, limoncello, desser pear and lemon. They even have a mocktail for those aforementioned kids. Guess which one, one of us slurped down. The other drank necessary tequila. Straight.
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Post Final: And this part is way too long for a blog, so pretend it's not here, but one of us found it on Facebook, courtesy of A Night Owl Media and at least one of us really agrees with the speech by America Ferrera as Gloria:
"It is literally impossible to be a woman.
You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough.
Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.
We have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin.
You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.
You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.
You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time.
You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people.
You have to answer for men's bad behavior, WHICH IS INSANE, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining.
You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.
But always stand out and always be very grateful. But never forget the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful.
You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line.
It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you. And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.
I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know."
Really Done # Really Done # Really Done #
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